differences....

life is a very very lonely thing... sometimes i wonder if she ever thinks of me in a different way..

ACPC

ok... acpc refers to the Appointment Certificate Presentation Ceremony.. this is wat all officers to be will have to go thrg lah..its a realli grand event.... we got presented with the sword by the chief of army with all his numerous badges and stuff! and he was damn nice... he greeted us by name when we went to collect our swords.. so it was quite a nice thing.. but we were all in our no.2 which was a white tuxedo.. haha.. looks very lao tu... and it makes us feel very uncomfortable because we have to maintain the "highest level of decorum" which means u cant run or slouch or talk loud or slouch or greet ppl in informal manners and u cant slouch.... dotz...

then after the presentation which took like a great 3 hrs cos we had like 400 over cadets.. haha... we had dinner.. some fine dining kinda thing where we had to eat in the most gentlemenly of manner... u noe the ones where they have a million forks and spoons on the table and then they teach u which spoon to use.. yah.. that sorta thing... its was pretty uncomfortable cos there is this dining orderly that was goin around trying to catch people who didnt follow these regulations and decorum... but the food was fantastic... there was like this smoked salmon and a huge prawn for appetizer, followed by the clam chowder and then there was this beef steak.. oh gosh.. it was great sia... fantastic! and we were served wine and port wine.. and u know those ppl whose face like grows red super easily? yah.. i realise ocs has a lot of them.. i had a fren who's face turned purple!!

then after that, we went to the cadet's mess to mix this OCS spirit which is a combination of a lot of bols... if anyone knows what that is... haha... it is made up of:

1. the red bols: the color of blood which shows our unity..
2. the blue bols: as a tri-service institute
3. the green bols: for the army
4. colourless: for the purity of virtues
5. vodka: for the punch and strength
6. the gold bols: for the premium institute that OCS is as an international school.

it was a nice night abeit not very fun, but finally, we are that much closer to commissioning... finally.. after the long 6 mths... so long it has been.. it was so long ago that i posted the last blog... and today, i stand here, a little changed and a lot happier... Ciaoz

AN UPDATE

time flies by very fast doesnt it? It was like three months plus since i last posted a blog!!! woah!!!

Basically i went to officer cadet school where i did my 14 weeks service term in DELTA wing, training as an infantry officer... life was hard... it was tough and i cannot say that i loved it there. I hated it... and i wanted out....

So, they posted me to engineers where i will be sending my next 20 weeks in, hopefully training as an explosive ordinance disposal officer. life there will be ten times harder and more difficult. i fear it so much.. i dun noe how i will last thrg it all... realli...

I just came back from brunei today. We climbed Mount Biang... i think they named it Biang because when the first OCT went there, he must have exclaimed WAH BIANG AH!!! its very very very shag climbing it and coming down is so treacherous cos we will hoi lian... haha... we did hoi lian but it was a journey i loved very much... i love to trek and hike... and i did it there...

Today, i will book back into Engineer Traiiining institute.. i dun know what to expect. I cant even imagine the worst. Some how lah... i will make it thrg. Five more mths of shit and then after that, no more... no more... god help me... buaiz....

fearful of what tml will bring

tml i will go to a very stressful, challenging and painful place... it will be suffering. it will be hell... it will be the place where only cocksters survive... i realli wonder how will i survive? i noe its the frens, but the thot of the pain and suffering that realli bugs me.. not the physical pain of cos.. that i can withstand.. its the mental pain... more specifically, the very high lack of slp.... my weaknesses are the dark and slp... night is like sacred to me i guess.. but then again, night is when the enemy loves to strike. i will have to adapt...

i realli dun noe what to say.. u noe my fren said something that kinda stuck to me.. "when u are crawling in pee and shit, its nice to have a gal. Cos at least you noe there is something to keep you goin in hell..." i sure as hell couldnt disagree with him... it may seem like love struck and stuff but some times, when i do those pumping when i get tekan.. when the scream in ur face, i wonder why i'm doing all these.. what light is there at the end of the tunnel... i dun noe.. but i think i'll just get to the end and find out what the light is?

CYA all 9 mths from now.. hopefully, i would have lasted that long.. BYEZ

ironies of life

I took my S papers becos i wanted to be a scholar... when i got my results, i was happy... i didnt do as well as most scholars, but i was proud to have achieved what i did, becos i knew it was with the pint of sweat that i saved the gallon of tears... and isnt it ironic... some ppl want my marks.. but the qn is wat real value does my marks hold? they show neither strength nor character. Instead, they hold a pressure and stress to perform and excel... i applied for a lot of schoalrship.. and all i need is one.. the most crazy thing will be that they will want interviews... so many interviews.. non-stop... i already have two on one day!!! its gonna be crazy.. crazy totally.

My dad just asked me why i dun wanna go overseas.. i dun realli noe how to tell him... Living in Singapore will let me do things that i nvr had a chance... To meet and stay with the frens i have... To enjoy an education that can still meet inernational standards... To learn abt the country i call home.. to do things i have nvr attempted b4... i lost all that to mugging.. and i dun wish to waste my time travelling in and out of the country... i want a balanced life that i noe i cannot achieve overseas. its not that i dun want to give it a try.. but i cannot afford to give it a try... it is not a chance i am willing to take, to fail... maybe for my masters or something i will go.. but for now, i dun think i can go..

i think its quite funny life.. life.. makes u wish u were on the other side. Sometimes, i wish i didnt work so hard... didnt take s paper... but i chose a hard way... i dun noe how it will turn out... and in a way thats gd cos it will only spoil the fun... One day it will turn out fine.. one day it will turn out alright.. i know god has shown me that life moves down many a path. But they always lead to the same destination. BUAIZ

PASSING OUT PARADE!!!!!

SIA LAH!!! i P.O.P leh... no more a bloody maggot... i have been promoted.. to a maggot... ok lah.. not much difference... but at least i get to keep me hair???!?!!?

i think perhaps, army will be one of the best experience in my life... i was pushing to my physical limits. I was given the opportunity to be part of an elite corp of ppl... the jaguar platoon2... we had our laughters, we had our cries. we had our pleasures, we had our pain. we joked and made merry, we fought and quarrelled. We bled together, we healed together and we fought and pushed on together... And although we only known each other for 9wks, i see them more than i have seen anyone before... who else do u slp with 6 days a wk.. and see them 24hrs a day? They hold a special place in my heart. They have and always will be my special band of brothers...

The things i want to pen down, the memories i have to hold, are far too many for me to blog... its not that i'm lazy... just that i have too much to say... perhaps when i have the time, i will write.. but for now, all i want to say...is

THANK YOU PLATOON TWO!!! YOU HAVE MADE ME A BETTER PERSON!!!